Archive for ‘September, 2012’

Last night I started my 3rd class at PCNW, a photography school.  The class is Women in Photography and will provide us with a history of women photographers (so far the first ones we discussed are AMAZING), and we will visit art museums around Seattle visiting exhibits focusing on women artists.  There are so many in Seattle right now and this class is taking full advantage of it.  One of the exhibits I am most excited about is the elles:pompdou.   What perfect timing to have this here AND we get a private tour of the exhibit!

I typically have first day of class jitters when I review the syllabus and hear about the artistic backgrounds of my classmates.  Last night was no exception.  The women and one man in my class had some pretty incredible talent behind them so a bit of my insecurity came out.  I then reflected on my prior classes and remember feeling the same way the first day and then also remembered how much I learned and how much I grew in each class.  I wanted a class that would help me break out of my conservative shell.  I want to explore my creativity and I believe this class will help me do that.  Our assignments are given based on the women photographers we are studying and we are to draw inspiration from these women and create our own images so it leaves a lot of room to explore and challenge our own creativity.  I find that my comfort zone is when the assignments are a little more literal so feel this may be my opportunity to break out of my conservative self and challenge it a bit.  My blog will be a journal of my journey in this class, the good with the bad.  Enjoy.

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This summer I’ve been photographing for PALS Doulas.  They are in the process of upgrading their website to with photos showing the work they do and examples of medical providers they work with.  My final part of the assignment these past two days was photographing a doula and medical provider working together with a laboring woman and a doula having a pre-natal visit with her client.   More of my PALS work can be found here and here.

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Driftwood, for some it is a piece of wood found washed ashore.  For others, it is a sculpture, a piece of art that is often added to a home or garden to be enjoyed.  I photographed the opening of a women’s clothing consignment store in a small Seattle neighborhood, Madrona.  I’ve lived in Seattle for over 15 years and have enjoyed watching Madrona grow from a sleepy neighborhood into one that is quite charming.  I feel the addition of retailers like; Juniper, Glassy Baby, Hitchcock and Driftwood have been instrumental in this neighborhoods growth.

This summer I had the pleasure of assisting the owner of Juniper with the lighting for her store.  Since opening her store, she’s had the same lighting and this summer wanted to add new lighting to reflect her taste, her style and to give a little punch of light to some dark areas in the store.  I have experience with lighting so was happy to help and photographed the new lights here.   So, after having worked with Lisa I was hoping to do more.  I was pleasantly surprised when I walked into Driftwood and was asked by Natalie if I would photograph the opening of her new retail location (across the street from her old space).  I was thrilled.  These are the photos from that night.  (it’s a long one).

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i was born in the fall and love fall for that reason and many more.  the crisp mornings, the shadows and the incredible lighting of the days are a few of the reasons this is my favorite season.  now that i have kids i look for many opportunities to explore fall with them.  one of my favorites are farm tours.  i didn’t grow up on a farm but my dad did.  i used to spend a few weeks every summer at my grandparents farm and feel so appreciative of that opportunity.  i loved to explore the farm as a child and some of my fondest memories were; taking the cows out to pasture and bringing them back, fishing in the pond and playing make believe on the farm equipment (i pretended the farm equipment were spaceships and the nuts and bolts were the controls).  yesterday we took our kids out to whidbey island for the 2012 whidbey island farm tour . here are the highlights…

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I’ve been struggling with my own self worth.  Now, I’ve struggled with this for most of my life but now I want to do something about it.  I’m tired of having my own pity party always thinking I am not worthy of ______ (there are so many words I could use in that blank).  I have a family and realize the importance of challenging this in me so that I can be an example to my family of overcoming those obstacles|challenges, that hold me back.  I realize how often I have thoughts of complaint or negativity, when instead I should {want to} have thoughts of appreciation and joy.  This has become so important to me that it is consuming my thoughts day and night.   To have the life I want requires me to look inside myself to create that life.

Today I had a friend stop by and I shared with her my thoughts and feelings.  She was so inspiring.  She shared with me her own life experiences of similar struggles and what she did to overcome them.  As she said “I had to pull myself up by the bootstraps and take a hard look at myself”.  I know the feeling.  We can point our fingers outward with complaint but if we are seeking to change our lives we need to take that finger and point it inward.

I am embracing this Fall season with open arms.  As the trees shed their leaves I, too,  am shedding mine; my leaves of negativity and complaint.

 

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life has it’s many struggles and the introductions of kids does not make those struggles any easier.  kids can do some remarkable things to you, to your life.  they make you more aware of what is important and who you are as a person.  lately i’ve been meeting many new people, women actually.   school has started, a new school, which means meeting new families, new women.  the “d” word has been a common conversation piece.  it seems that the parents groups i am a part of and the new moms i am meeting all have something in common; divorce.  it seems to be the “in” thing or maybe it is because of my own marital struggles i am more aware of this.  blogging about marital problems you may ask?  well, sometimes when it is difficult to talk about the things at home an outlet is needed.   i am not here to share my dirty laundry nor do i want to stay hidden behind a curtain.  having kids has changed me.  it has changed us.  i just don’t know if the changes in us can live together or if they are best to live a part.  this is not an easy decision and is even more challenging when young kids are involved.  how do you work through difficulties and still be the role models you want to be for your kids?  i’m not sure what the future will be, all i know is although it may be a rocky one, i have confidence that the correct path will reveal itself to us.  

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my son is teaching me trust, teaching me that it is ok to take a few steps back and let him take charge.  this is very challenging for me.  as much as I want to raise an independent, capable and confident child i still have fears and want to step in to help.  he was very clear with me this past week when he expressed many times to me “leave me alone”.

he is almost 5 and entered a pre-k program.  he is meeting new kids, experiencing new things and confronting his own challenges, fears and awkward moments.  it is these challenges, fears and awkward moments that i want to interfere with.  i want to help so he isn’t hurt.  i want him to be sociable, confident and fun when in reality he might be a little clumsy, insecure and afraid and that is ok.  i’ve expressed to him how important it is to face our fears because the courage to overcome them is amazing and yet when I watch him face his own i want to step in and protect.  if i truly believe that facing our fears is where confidence, courage and happiness stems from,  then i have to let him face his and by doing so i face mine.

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i am filled with emotion regarding my decision to possibly accept a position that will have me working again, although part time.  the emotion i feel comes from many directions; “can I work and still be there for my children?”, “do i have the will to do both jobs?”, “i haven’t done my best so maybe i should try harder before going back to work”, etc…etc…

i also think of time in a more positive way that my going back to work will make me appreciate even more the time I get to spend with my kids AND because it is only part time i will still have many hours of quality time with them.

i believe in life that timing is no accident.  the things that come our way are doors and we choose whether to go through the door or to shut it.  this job opportunity might be the door i need to go through.  i have dreams, i have goals and if i am willing to open up and be more aware of my life and what it brings i might just see the synchronicity of life.

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