These past 7 years have been a whirlwind of craziness.  I got married, quit a career I had for over 20 years, had a child, became a stay at home mom and then had another child.  What I didn’t realize at the time was how I gave up me.  I put into my head that I had to be a specific way as a stay at home parent and what I didn’t realize was that in doing so I gave up me.  Not just a part of me but all of me.  I became someone else and struggled so hard to keep up this facade of this new person and as a result I have been living with stress, anxiety and depression.  The realization came, quite suddenly, as I looked around my home.  My home has always been a special place for me and these past years I’ve done nothing with it.  While my husband works hard at keeping the yard and garden going (a tough job for just one person) I’ve just sat by watching him and doing nothing but trying to keep the house almost clean.  Those special little details that I would create to make the house warm and inviting have gone.  I don’t know where they went but they are gone and not replaced with anything new.  I don’t even put flowers around my home anymore and I l-o-v-e  to have fresh flowers in every room.  Once I made this realization I lit up.  I’ve started making my lists and am finding ways to add the personal touches back to my home, to my yard and to my family.  And all of those things that I thought I needed to be when I became a parent?  Well, I took most of them, the ones that are not me, and put them in the trash.

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